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reduced to a shadow without irreverence. A light here required a shadow there. He considered. He
was interested. He took it scientifically in complete good faith. The truth was that all his prejudices
were on the other side, he explained. The largest picture in his drawing-room, which painters had
praised, and valued at a higher price than he had given for it, was of the cherry trees in blossom on
the banks of the Kennet. He had spent his honeymoon on the banks of the Kennet, he said. Lily
must come and see that picture, he said. But now--he turned, with his glasses raised to the scientific
examination of her canvas. The question being one of the relations of masses, of lights and shadows,
which, to be honest, he had never considered before, he would like to have it explained--what then
did she wish to make of it? And he indicated the scene before them. She looked. She could not
show him what she wished to make of it, could not see it even herself, without a brush in her hand.
She took up once more her old painting position with the dim eyes and the absent-minded manner,
subduing all her impressions as a woman to something much more general; becoming once more
under the power of that vision which she had seen clearly once and must now grope for among
hedges and houses and mothers and children--her picture. It was a question, she remembered, how
to connect this mass on the right hand with that on the left. She might do it by bringing the line of
the branch across so; or break the vacancy in the foreground by an object (James perhaps) so. But
the danger was that by doing that the unity of the whole might be broken. She stopped; she did not
want to bore him; she took the canvas lightly off the easel.
But it had been seen; it had been taken from her. This man had shared with her something
profoundly intimate. And, thanking Mr Ramsay for it and Mrs Ramsay for it and the hour and the
place, crediting the world with a power which she had not suspected--that one could walk away
down that long gallery not alone any more but arm in arm with somebody--the strangest feeling in
the world, and the most exhilarating--she nicked the catch of her paint-box to, more firmly than was
necessary, and the nick seemed to surround in a circle forever the paint-box, the lawn, Mr Bankes,
and that wild villain, Cam, dashing past.
10
For Cam grazed the easel by an inch; she would not stop for Mr Bankes and Lily Briscoe;
though Mr Bankes, who would have liked a daughter of his own, held out his hand; she would not
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stop for her father, whom she grazed also by an inch; nor for her mother, who called "Cam! I want
you a moment!" as she dashed past. She was off like a bird, bullet, or arrow, impelled by what
desire, shot by whom, at what directed, who could say? What, what? Mrs Ramsay pondered,
watching her. It might be a vision--of a shell, of a wheelbarrow, of a fairy kingdom on the far side
of the hedge; or it might be the glory of speed; no one knew. But when Mrs Ramsay called "Cam!"
a second time, the projectile dropped in mid career, and Cam came lagging back, pulling a leaf by
the way, to her mother.
What was she dreaming about, Mrs Ramsay wondered, seeing her engrossed, as she stood there,
with some thought of her own, so that she had to repeat the message twice--ask Mildred if Andrew,
Miss Doyle, and Mr Rayley have come back?--The words seemed to be dropped into a well, where,
if the waters were clear, they were also so extraordinarily distorting that, even as they descended,
one saw them twisting about to make Heaven knows what pattern on the floor of the child's mind.
What message would Cam give the cook? Mrs Ramsay wondered. And indeed it was only by
waiting patiently, and hearing that there was an old woman in the kitchen with very red cheeks,
drinking soup out of a basin, that Mrs Ramsay at last prompted that parrot-like instinct which had
picked up Mildred's words quite accurately and could now produce them, if one waited, in a
colourless singsong. Shifting from foot to foot, Cam repeated the words, "No, they haven't, and I've
told Ellen to clear away tea."
Minta Doyle and Paul Rayley had not come back then. That could only mean, Mrs Ramsay
thought, one thing. She must accept him, or she must refuse him. This going off after luncheon for
a walk, even though Andrew was with them--what could it mean? except that she had decided,
rightly, Mrs Ramsay thought (and she was very, very fond of Minta), to accept that good fellow,
who might not be brilliant, but then, thought Mrs Ramsay, realising that James was tugging at her,
to make her go on reading aloud the Fisherman and his Wife, she did in her own heart infinitely
prefer boobies to clever men who wrote dissertations; Charles Tansley, for instance. Anyhow it
must have happened, one way or the other, by now.
But she read, "Next morning the wife awoke first, and it was just daybreak, and from her bed
she saw the beautiful country lying before her. Her husband was still stretching himself..."
But how could Minta say now that she would not have him? Not if she agreed to spend whole
afternoons trapesing about the country alone--for Andrew would be off after his crabs--but possibly
Nancy was with them. She tried to recall the sight of them standing at the hall door after lunch.
There they stood, looking at the sky, wondering about the weather, and she had said, thinking partly [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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